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How to be a Geisha


Last week my young girlfriend shared her interest in  a new book on how to catch a man. Since I have been a girl these books (The Rules, He's Not That into You, Think Like A Man) have been around. So I decided I am gonna to write my bestselling book, "How to be a Geisha" and let it rain money on me. Here are my tips on how to get the big ring :

1. Get a fan. Carry it with you always. You talk too much. Hide your mouth behind it only to reveal your beautiful eyes. 

2. Wear high heels. The higher the better. You walk too fast and now you'll take tiny tiny steps.

3. Serve a man. They love being waited on.  "Is your arm broken?" That is not the way of a geisha. 

4.Listen. If you get bored you can yawn or giggle behind your fan.

5. Never eat in front of a man. Besides your hands should be free for serving and fan holding.

6. Save Face. Men say silly things. "I run this city". "This is my house".  Learn to ignore.


7. The Kudzu. Being a Geisha is not about submission. Oh no. A geisha can dispatch lethal power at will. Choose your moments. 


There's more but I am saving it for my monster hit book, movie, app, television series, perfume, album and clothing line. 

 Sayonara.

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