Sunday, March 2, 2014

Open letter to Michael K at Dlisted

 I can not live without my daily fix of Dlisted. I try to stay away but  I cantz. Also my best lines I have borrowed (stole) from you. I am quite the fabulous funny in demand  girl with my (your) clever bon mots(that's French bitches). Here are my favs:

  • Bitch street and side skank ave
  • Bye bitch
  • Lock up your everything
  • Panty creamer
  • Hard nips
  • A check is a check
  • Pussy curling
  • Hammaconda
  • unicorn tears
  • Twatter
  • Quit this bitch
  • Punch in the man kitty
  • Fame whore
  • Captain save a hoochie
  • Clutch the pearls
  • Serving glamour
  • Side eye
  • Wash out my eyeballs in bleach
  • let me exfoliate my thighs on that” stubble
  •  Scoot trick
  •     in her own wig-covered mind
  •   Chateau de Foreclosure
  •   Old school hot piece
  •  A founding member of the Not The One Club
  •  Magnum-level side eye 
  •  Being a gracious loser is so overrated and life’s too short to not snatch a crown right off of a trick’s head
  •  Shocking To Absolutely No One
  •  100-proof oh hell no
  • #getmoneybitch
  • struttin’ that ass

HRH Harry
Once I thought I saw you in New Yawk. Silly me. Your probably dripping in Prada in your French chateau spooning  with Prince Hot Ginge (HRH Prince Andrew) all bought and paid for with a big fat secret check from Mama Kardashian. Escandalo!
Mama Kris
 You wouldn't sully your purity by appearing in public, television, music videos or off off off Broadway show. Seriously I will have to consult  Detective LaToya to see where you live and go. Well, I have to focus on my writing or whatever it is I do.  Till then, I live for the day to be called 'Birthday Slut'. Deep sigh!  I just want to say reading your blog has made me a better woman(probably not). Smooches.


I had a gift card for a makeup application in my International Emmy's Gala swag bag. So off I went to the Le Parker Méridien Hotel to ...